


Blood Under the Bridge

by Milkyway_Bread



Series: Tales of the Gaang [3]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Bloodbending (Avatar) mentioned, Fluff, Found Family, Gen, Hama messed Katara up mentally :(, Hitting hard with the family feels here, Hurt/Comfort, Katara (Avatar)-centric, Light Angst, Or trying to, Precious Aang, Sokka (Avatar) is a Good Brother, Suki and Toph are good sisters, Team as Family, Waterbending & Waterbenders, Yue deserved better, Yue is a good moon, Zuko (Avatar) is a Good Brother
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:33:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26091193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milkyway_Bread/pseuds/Milkyway_Bread
Summary: The full moon approaches, Katara can't get rid of the feeling of impurity running through her veins. Yue's light is overshadowed by Hama, but fortunately, Katara has friends to help her through the nights.
Relationships: Aang & Katara (Avatar), Katara & Sokka (Avatar), Katara & The Gaang (Avatar), Katara & Zuko (Avatar), Toph Beifong & Katara & Suki
Series: Tales of the Gaang [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1825765
Comments: 22
Kudos: 217





	Blood Under the Bridge

As the full moon approached, Katara swore she could hear someone sing.

 _It must be Hama,_ her half-paranoid mind utters. _It must be Hama, and she's back for you._

Her heart pounded against her ribcage and Katara couldn't help but think of how that was only pumping blood through her body faster. Blood that could be manipulated for someone else's sick games. Blood that could be used because it was water, because Hama had made sure that Katara could never think of water as pure again.

Her instincts told her to run, far and fast, away from the woman who had tainted water, but she followed the voice. Something inside her was thrumming to exact revenge. If it really were Hama, is she really was back, then Katara would -

The voice was male.

The realisation of it brought Katara to a slow stop.

She listened closer, now that her heart was slowing too. It's a soft noise, drawn out with melancholy and dipped in nostalgia. It doesn't take long for Katara to hear how distinctly Sokka it is. It's a little rough, choppy and faltering, but comforting in a way Katara couldn't explain.

Nothing like the melody of water. Nothing like Hama.

Water was soothing, flowing, quiet and all too loud. It was dangerous.

Katara found herself grinning. Sokka was the last thing from dangerous.

"Hey, sis!" Sokka said when he heard her approach.

"Hey."

Sokka was sitting under Yue's silver light, his face reflecting too many emotions a boy his age should have. But really, all of them here felt too much in their short life, so Katara wasn't going to begin to decipher what was in his ocean eyes.

"Singing to Yue?" Katara asked.

"I wonder if she liked songs."

It stung slightly, to be reminded of how little they had known the Princess. When Katara thought of her, she couldn't help but think of how different she was from Hama. Hama was the ocean, pushing and pushing until Katara almost gave. She was murky depths and raging waves, roaring in Katara's soul like a never-ending storm.

Yue was so different. The gentle pull of water, ever-changing but always there, a constant guardian over her and all water-benders.

"Everyone likes songs," Katara offered, "Also, you're a terrible singer."

Sokka smiled, then abruptly squawked, voice breaking as he protesting, "I am NOT a bad singer."

Katara laughed.

Yue watched, a waxing gibbous, and there was a sinking feeling in Katara's stomach when she thought of the approaching full moon.

* * *

The field-trip-of-revenge was a humbling experience, perhaps for both her and Zuko. But mainly for her, it would seem.

Katara felt free, by the end of it.

She was not a monster and she would never be.

(The blood under her skin hummed in response, like it knew something she didn't.)

* * *

Full moons last three days.

There used to be a time, even before Katara was a fully-realised waterbender, where she used to revel in those precious few days. Power whispered at the edges of her consciousness, a nagging push and pull, and urge she could not ignore. As the days melted away and the nights shown to be just as bright, Katara couldn't help but waterbend.

The first time she bent water was on a full moon night.

Zuko and Katara had gone to the Southern Raiders during the day, and she hadn't paid the moon much heed past the moment she had blood-bended. Now that they were back and the world was quiet once more, Katara couldn't help but notice how Yue gleamed in the sky, dressed in full, glorious white, like the day she died.

What would Yue think of Katara now? What would Master Pakku think? What would they say, knowing that Katara had learned the most corrupt form of waterbending, the most sinful form, and used it _twice_?

(What would Hama say? What would Mum say?)

Toph's voice cut through, "Sugar Queen?"

Katara looked up in question, hating the way that everyone was staring at her now. There was only the cackling of fire and the distant sound of waves crashing onto the shores.

She could hear water, now. In everything that was, water existed, an incessant murmuring. It was louder on the full moon.

Hama's voice was louder on the full moon.

"Are you okay?" Zuko asked.

"Fine," Katara snapped back.

Zuko flinched and Katara felt an awful twist in her gut. Their field trip had made Katara realise how hard Zuko was _trying_. It made sense that Aang and Sokka had warmed up to him after their respective field trips too.

"Sorry," she said sincerely, "I'm just tired. I'll ... turn in for the night."

There was a soft chorus of "goodnight". Katara saw Sokka shift over to Zuko, probably explaining to the firebender the significance of the full moon.

Katara sighed, feeling unbelievably fragile even though she had proven time and again that she very much was not. She curled up in her make-shift bed and tried to breathe, ignoring the moon calling out to her.

Waterbending was literally her life-blood. It was impossible to ignore. It was _painful_ to ignore.

Master Pakku had once said that the full moon was when waterbenders made feats in their bending. He told stories of old Masters, some who created waterfalls from nothing, others who summoned entire snowstorms. Waterbending, he had said, was pure power, raw beauty, _transparent_.

Katara didn't feel any of it now. She couldn't look at water and think of healing when she knew how much hurt it could cause.

"Katara?"

Katara jerked up at the sound of Suki's voice, not having heard the girl approach. Toph followed behind, even quieter.

"You okay?" Suki asked, coming to sit beside her. Toph took to the other side.

Katara shrugged slightly.

"Sokka told me and Zuko about ... you know," Suki trailed off awkwardly.

"About the blood bitch," Toph offered.

Katara scoffed involuntarily, finding that her body had already relaxed, caught between the two. She tried to find something to say, but in the end, it was Suki that spoke.

"I'm not a bender," she said, "So - so I don't really get it. But you know you could _never_ be like her, right?"

Katara drew her knees to her chest, "But I can do what she did. Nothing's stopping me."

"You stopped yourself," Toph pointed out.

Suki nodded, "Losing control is _easy_ Katara. Giving in to your darkest impulses ... it's easy," the girl sounded haunted, "When I was at the Boiling Rock ... I wanted to give in. Forget about Sokka and just get rid of Azula myself."

The two benders paid close attention. Suki didn't talk about the Boiling Rock much - it was a taboo topic among all of them, like the Day of the Black Sun and the Fall of Ba Sing Se. It was a topic to only be discussed on nights like these, under the comfort of blankets and surrounded by the warmth of friends.

"I wanted to kill her," Suki admitted quietly, "Or the Warden. And I know that I _could_. At least the latter. But just because you're _capable_ of it, doesn't mean you're actually going to do it. Are you?"

"Never!"

"Then you're already twice the woman the blood bitch was," Suki said firmly.

"She's right, you know," Toph continued, "Perhaps it's not the same, but every time I bend earth, I make sure I hit with enough force to injure, not kill. I know how much control that takes, Katara, and the fact that you can do it is worth a lot," she grinned, "Trust me, I'd know _all_ about that. I've sent quite a few people to hospital myself!"

Suki gave her a vaguely appreciative look while Katara scolded, "That's not something to be proud of!"

"Point it, Sugar Queen, you're _nothing_ like Hama. She was twisted and cruel, and you're literally sugar-sweet!" Toph punched her shoulder lightly, "Forget about the moon and the ocean or whatever. We need to get down to business."

"Business?"

Suki grinned, "Slumber party business."

Katara giggled nervously, "I've never - "

"Nor have I!" Toph exclaimed, grinning widely, "This is gonna be fun! Do we get to beat each other up with rocks?"

"No," Suki said lightly, "Only pillows, unfortunately."

"Lame."

Katara snickered, "Maybe we can spar. It's not like we're those Ba Sing Se girls."

Suki perked up, "Oh? Story time?"

Toph grinned even more widely, "Now what I'm about to tell you is a tale as old as time ..."

Katara leaned back and said drily, "A few months old, she means."

"Stop being a buzzkill!"

The three girls gathered in the tent spent the night going back and forth with silly stories, the best Fire Nation propaganda they heard, and all the ways to kill a man.

Katara liked to think that if Yue were around, she'd join too.

* * *

Before Hama, Katara used to think the element closest to water was air. Free, spirited, everywhere.

After Hama, Katara wondered if water was more akin to fire. Destructive and terrible.

Her conversation with Suki and Toph made her feel a little bit better. They _were_ right. Controlling her impulses was a good thing, and she should be giving herself credit for it. Blood-bending was disgusting, but it was _empowering_ , and the fact that hadn't given in to Hama's ocean _meant_ something.

But it still meant that water wasn't as pure as she thought it was. And that perhaps, it had never been pure to begin with.

It was uncomfortable to even think about it. Water was meant to be _healing_ , but it was so easy to hurt someone with it. Worst of all, now that she knew, there was no way for her to unsee it.

"You've got a scary look on your face."

Katara felt herself soften at Aang's words, "Sorry, Aang."

"Don't worry about it! Zuko's got a scary look all the time, and he's fun!"

Katara bit back a laugh at the thought of angry-ponytail-guy being fun, only to realise how true that was. Watching him fumble through basic human interaction was hilarious, and it was even more rewarding to help him through it and watch him grow. Katara just hadn't realised it until recently.

"So, what are you thinking about?" Aang asked as he helped wash the dishes in the nearby pool of water.

It would go much faster if they used waterbending, but there was something reassuring about going through the familiar movements.

"Nothing important," Katara lied.

Aang didn't look like he believed her.

"Waterbending," Katara conceded.

His expression cleared to one of sympathy, "Is it because of the full moon?"

"Yeah," Katara sighed, "It's just that ... water is supposed to be for _healing_ not _bloodbending_."

Aang hesitated, "Why not both?"

Katara nearly dropped her dishes, "What?"

"I mean, both is the bending of water, isn't it?" Aang asked softly, "One's just immoral."

"But - bending's not - that's not how waterbending should be used!" Katara burst out. She almost said, _What would you know_ , but she was learning to hold her tongue and stop jumping to conclusions these days.

"There are these stories ..." Aang said, his voice unnaturally quiet, "From thousands of years ago, sometime around the tenth Avatar. It said that there were airbenders who ... who stole air from people's lungs."

Katara's breath hitched and Aang shifted uncomfortably. Quiet descended on them, deathly and still. Katara was the one who broke it.

"That's terrifying."

Maybe even more so than bloodbending.

"Is it," Aang whispered, "But we're pacifists now. We _choose_ to use our air for good stuff, fun stuff!" his voice regained spirit, "Bending isn't bad or good. It just is - it can be used in any way anyone sees fit. It's up to us how we act on that."

"Hama used it for bloodbending."

"And _you_ used it to save my life."

Katara and Aang looked at each other for a moment, then grinned.

He was right, as always, his Air Nomad wisdom never failing to guide her.

Perhaps water was a little bit like air after all.

* * *

The second full moon night was so much worse than the first. She was irritable all day, snappish and prickly. The others left her alone, for the most part. But when the sun had set and everyone had turned in for the night, Katara paced by the fire and tried to ignore the way the ocean called to her.

She didn't _want_ to waterbend tonight. Because - what if -

It was silly to think Hama would show up again. Or to think that something would go wrong, or that Yue would condemn her, or that when she moved water, it would be blood instead.

It was silly.

But still, Katara wouldn't waterbend.

"Thought you'd be up tonight."

Katara yelped, almost falling over. She turned to glare at Zuko like she hadn't done in a while now.

Dammit! He was immune.

Katara took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "What are you doing up?"

"I couldn't sleep."

They settled into surprisingly amicable silence, the firebender's presence bringing a comfort that her new-found family seemed to bring with them. They watched the fire breathe with Zuko, rising and falling without ever getting out of control.

"Don't you want to waterbend?" Zuko asked bluntly.

Katara's shoulders hitched, "Why do you ask."

"It's a full moon," he hesitated, "Is this about that woman?"

"Why does everyone think that!"

Zuko didn't seem at all put-off by her anger. He waited expectantly.

"It's dumb," Katara said.

"I doubt it. I don't know much about the world, but I do know a waterbender is almost compelled to bend on full moons."

It was true. Zuko and Katara both knew it to be true.

"I don't want to," Katara said, sounding awfully close to a whiny toddler.

"Okay," Zuko shrugged.

"That's it?"

"That's it."

Frustrated, Katara said, " _Good!"_

There was silence. Zuko looked like he was trying very hard not to laugh.

Katara already missed the days he was scared of her.

"I suppose," Katara began slowly, "I am afraid that I'll ... I don't know. Mess up somehow. Do something awful like _she_ did. I know - I know I won't. But ... you saw how close I got to killing _that man_. And - I don't know. Every time I bend, I just ..."

"You're aware of how easy it'll be, to do the wrong thing. To make the wrong move," Zuko looked her in the eyes, his scar leathery under the dying fire, "Perhaps, even, how _exhilarating_ it is to do the wrong thing."

It was _empowering_ to bloodbend. Katara already knew that. She felt it in her veins. In her _blood_.

"Yeah," she said gloomily, "Exactly. How did you know?"

Zuko shrugged, "I get up every day struggling to make the right choice. Some days ... I even want to go back, no matter how much it hurts."

"Because it's easier," Katara nodded, "Much simpler to give in to the darkness."

To let it pull you down, to let the ocean take you.

"How do you get through it?"

Zuko smiled slightly, just a little quirk of his lips, "I've always had Uncle. And now, I have all of you."

Katara looked away from him and around the campsite: to Suki and Katara's tent because the insisted on sharing; to Sokka's tent he demanded on keeping to himself; to Aang sleeping on Appa, Momo snuggled to his side; to Toph's earth house, steadily growing more intricate as time passed.

She looked back at Zuko, who was patiently waiting.

"I think I'm going to practice some waterbending."

Zuko smiled, this time for real.

She stood on the shore, ignoring how Hama screamed at her through and across the ocean.

Hama had no control over her.

Bending was only as she wanted it to be.

She could do this.

She stretched out her arms, and water rose to meet her.

Distantly, she heard Yue laugh in triumph.

* * *

He was humming again, seeming to have figured out the rhythm he wanted. It was much smoother now, like a creek had been unblocked, and the water was flowing freely. He was staring up at the sky, waiting patiently for shy Yue to peek back through the clouds.

"Hey," Katara said softly.

"Hey."

She took a seat beside him, leaning back so her palm was on the ground. Cold seeped in, causing a chill to travel down her spine. Sokka noticed and moved closer, letting her share his blanket.

"Does Suki know you're out here?" Katara teased.

Sokka scoffed, "Unlike _you_ , she doesn't get jealous."

She laughed because she couldn't quite deny it. Yue had been incredible - Katara wished she could have gotten to know her as well as Sokka had. She could barely remember the Princess' voice anymore, let alone who she had been as a person. The North called her Yue the Brave, Yue the Sweet, Yue the Dutiful, but Katara didn't really know what that meant.

Some days, Katara thought that maybe Sokka was the only one who had ever truly known her.

"I heard from everyone that you were being all weird about Hama," he gave him an amused glance, "I'm just glad I have minions who report to me."

Katara grinned, "And you're _my_ minion, so that makes me the boss here."

"Not how it works!"

"Yes it is!"

Sokka groaned, then quietened, "How are you feeling?"

Back in the Southern Water Tribe, there had only ever been the two of them. On nights like these, they would lean against each other and leech off the other's heat. There had been no one else to ask if they were okay, no one else to worry about either. There had been Gran Gran of course, but she was always busy.

Here, there was Suki and Toph. There was Aang and Zuko. There was Appa and Momo.

There was family, to make sure that she was okay. She didn't have to lean solely on Sokka anymore.

But she leaned on Sokka anyway, told him softly about everything that had been going through her head, told him happily how everyone had helped. She learned against him, her shoulder against his, head buried in the crook of his neck. He listened silently, nodding along and teasing her appropriately.

For a moment, it was just them - the ocean, the moon, and their kin.

"So," he clarified, "You're okay?"

There were tears in his eyes and now, Katara didn't have to try and puzzle through all his emotions. There was only one.

"I'm okay."

He smiled up at the sky. The clouds had dispersed, bowing out of the way and letting the moon colour the world silver and white.

"We're okay," Sokka murmured.

Yue smiled upon them.

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo! Thanks for reading.
> 
> This fic gave me an idea for another Yue fic, as well an Azula and Zuko fic based around the line "I get up every day struggling to make the right choice. Some days ... I even want to go back, no matter how much it hurts." So stick around for those, I guess? Won't be part of this series though, of course.
> 
> Speaking of this series, if anyone has prompts or ideas that you want me to write, I'd love that!!! I need practice writing, lol.
> 
> Also, I have a fanfiction.net account under the same name, in case that's your preferred website.


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